A visit to the Emergency Room

Last month, I finally made the trek to the emergency room after a month long of having heart pains. I know, I know. I’m extremely stubborn and on top of it, it doesn’t help to have the fears of COVID-19 in the ER. Long before this pandemic, it’s always been stressful to go to the ER due to my deafness and communication barriers. Luckily, I only have gone to the ER a few times and always had my husband to support me each time. 

I called the hospital ahead of time to verify that my husband would be allowed in to “interpret” for me. They said yes. It’s usually recommended for family members to NOT interpret, it is encouraged to get a licensed medical interpreter. So why do I need my husband? As I mentioned, the last few times I was in the ER, I had an AWFUL experience with the interpreter via relay (similar concept of calling an interpreter on zoom). Also at my doctor appointments, the interpreter always interpreted wrong words (one time the interpreter translated “My throat hurts a lot so I eat cough drops daily” to “My throat hurts a lot so I eat a lot of ice cream”. My husband was in the room so he corrected him!). 

I got tired of these constantly bad experiences so I started to prefer my husband. It also helped for him to input his questions or explanation because he can get more information out there than I can through an interpreter. I do appreciate interpreters very much, they are a huge asset to the deaf community. Please do not reflect my experiences on all other interpreters out there who are working hard! It may be a geographic reason, I did not have issues with most interpreters when I was in Rochester, NY (that happens to have one of the largest deaf communities). I live in Southeastern CT which is an hour away from Hartford, CT and Providence, RI where there are more deaf people. It’s hard to find an interpreter in my area, so this may be the reason behind my bad experiences within the last few years.

Imagine my surprise when the nurse called me into the ER, and my husband was turned away. I stood there for a good solid minute with my mind racing. Do I go in there? Alone? Do I just go home? Hope this will go away? No, it has stuck around for a month now. I need to go. Wait, I wonder if this will happen if I go to a different hospital 20 minutes away? That hospital is in a busier location, probably has more exposure risk to COVID-19. Help. Do I go in or not? Fine. I’m tired. I’m here. I need to go in. 

2:30 PM I was led to a room. The nurse called the interpreter on the monitor (it looks like an ipad mounted on a mobile pole). The nurse and interpreter talks. What’s going on? What is being said? Finally the interpreter starts to sign. Nurse is asking me the intake questions. The other nurse is trying to put the EKG stickers on me, tells the interpreter I need to “turn you around for some privacy”. Then the intake nurse tells the EKG nurse “let me finish then you do the EKG”. Typically both nurses could multitask but not when I needed my hands to communicate to the interpreter. I was interrupted 3 times by the interpreter telling the intake nurse “you need to talk to her directly, say you. Don’t say she”. “Don’t talk to me, I’m here to interpret. Talk to her.” The nurse had an attitude with the interpreter. I clammed up. I already had anxiety from being alone without my husband. Now all of this happens? I froze. I only said that I was there because of heart pains. I didn’t list my other 4 symptoms. Thankfully I wrote it all down on a paper. I gave the paper to the nurse. This is not usual for me to be so quiet. 

2:56 PM They leave the room. I texted my husband about my discomfort, frustration about the communication, anxiety, being scared, how my heart rate is through the roof. I wanted to walk out. Fighting that urge not to. My husband asks me what’s happening next. I froze. I was overwhelmed. I don’t remember what’s coming next. 

3:15 PM A female medical employee comes in. My heart monitor starts flashing. Wait, what’s happening? What’s wrong with my heart? Doesn’t introduce herself. I have no idea who she is. Is she a nurse? Is she a PA? Is she the doctor? The interpreter wasn’t on the screen (it was turned off when the first two nurses left the room). Finally this female calls the interpreter. More talking between them. The interpreter acknowledges me. The female asks me more questions. Wait, what? The same questions the intake nurse asked me. The female asked more questions to force me to express more. I expressed more to her. I was able to discuss 3 out of 5 symptoms I had. She notices the paper. She asks me “I see you brought a paper, well what does it say?”. Is she being snippy? I can’t tell because of the mask. The tone of how the interpreter translated that seemed snippy. Is this lady annoyed with me? I answered her questions with the reminder of my symptoms.

3:20 PM I texted my husband “Another one came in to talk to me again, I feel like she’s annoyed with me”. I explained the tone. I said I had no idea because of the mask. I can’t read her face. 

3:35 PM I see a cart roll into the room. What’s happening again? Why is my heart monitor flashing again? The nurse pushing it came into the room waving then walked up to me. She introduced herself by showing her badge with her name Carly on it. I waved back to acknowledge this. She showed the supplies (needles, IV, tubes) then pointed to my arm then my other arm. Oh she’s asking me which arm I prefer. I pointed to my left arm. She held up the IV needle showing me, then she held up bloodwork tubes. Signed “Three”. Ah, three tubes of blood. I inhale. I fan my face to signal that I’m nervous. She responded by doing the same. I can see her chuckling because of her eyes. I feel comfortable with this one. I feel safe. 

4:15 PM Ohhh, I need to go to the bathroom BAD. How do I get out of this (the hook ups to the machines)? It’s been 25 minutes of holding. Where’s the bathroom? I don’t want to push this button for help. I don’t want to use it. How do I communicate that I need to go to the bathroom? I didn’t bring paper and a pen. I can’t hold anymore. Oh hell with it. -Pushes the button.- Is it beeping? What’s happening? Typed “I need bathroom” in the notes on my phone prepared for whoever comes. Carly came in. Yes! It’s her! I showed her my phone. She responded with her friendly body language, immediately started unhooking me from the machines. I get up and walk out into the hallway. She shows me the bathroom. I go in. 

After the bathroom, I came out to another female staff member standing in front of the door. I waved at her, feeling awkward (who doesn’t if anyone waits outside of the bathroom?). She motioned to me to follow her. Oh I’m supposed to go with her? I’m confused. My room is right there. Who is she? Her uniform color is different from the nurses. She sensed my confusion and pointed to ‘RADIOLOGY’ on her scrub uniform. Ah! Radiology. Wait, I’m getting X-Rays? Okay then. I walked into the radiology department with her. She shows me her badge with her name, Kate. Okay, she’s nice. I feel comfortable. I see this machine. I have never seen it before in my life. Wait, what’s this? Is it new? Trying to remember, did anyone say anything about this? She demonstrates what I need to do. I copied her. She moves me when it is necessary by guiding me on the shoulders. I stand there. Is it taking pictures? This is a new X-ray machine. How cool. Don’t move. Stay. But I want to look back. Where is she? What’s happening? Am I alone? A tap on my shoulder, ah yes! I can look back now. She shows me to move to another side. I copied her again. I stood there. Waited. After it was finished, she took me back to the room, helped me to hook back up to the machines. I waved her goodbye.

4:21 PM “I think I just got a chest x-ray. The machine was new.” I texted my husband. Anxiety kicked in. I don’t like to be in the room alone. Not knowing what’s happening or what’s coming next. I’m the kind person who likes to know the process of anything. I appreciate when people take the time to explain the process. I didn’t have that at all in the ER. I fought the urge multiple times to not walk out of the ER and go home. I knew that I needed to be brave and stay. Find out what’s wrong with me. It’s been a long time and I’m physically tired. 

As I laid in the bed waiting for whatever next, I was thinking about how I hated that submissive feeling in the radiology department. The x-ray technician was definitely one of the nicest and I felt comfortable enough with her. Yes, I know. It may sound silly, all because she told me her name and I felt comfortable? I felt connected because that was a piece of information about her I knew. Still, I hated that submissive feeling, having to copy and letting her guide me. I much prefer having the process explained out to me by my language - sign language. I felt helpless and didn’t know what to do.  

4:50 PM The same female employee who asked me the intake questions the second time (3:15 PM visit) came back into the room. My heart monitor flashes again. She calls the interpreter. We awkwardly wait. Who is she?? Nurse?? PA?? Doctor?? It’s been so long now. I feel awkward to ask who she is now. Finally the interpreter comes onto the monitor. The female employee starts talking about the bloodwork results. “The D-(interpreter freezes but the female employee continues talking) came back high so we’re going to have you get a CT-scan to look at the blood clot”. Wait, what?! I have a blood clot? Aren’t I too young to have a clot? I spoke up. “Wait, what did you say? (Pointing to the interpreter) froze so I missed the information. What test?”. The female employee nodded her head when I mentioned that the interpreter had frozen. So if you saw that, why did you continue talking??? The interpreter tells me the full name of the test. I finally knew. Okay, then. Still confused. I have a blood clot? The female employee tells me someone will be along soon to take me to the CT-scan. She turns off the interpreter. Wait, I had questions. Do I have a blood clot?

5:00 PM I texted my husband panicking about the news. Still confused whether I had a blood clot or if they wanted to rule out blood clot. My heart is racing. “They said the test came back high.” “They said the symptoms are constant with blood clots.” “Does this means I could be hospitalized?”. “They said they had to inject a dye in my IV for the ct-scan”. Anxiety kicks in. Wait, the dye. What is it? Will it give me the metallic taste like that one time before? What are the side effects? Will I feel okay? “I just wanna walk out and go home”. 

5:20 PM A new woman walks in the room. Is she talking? It looks like she is. I can’t tell because of the mask. Ughhh that heart monitor machine flashing again. What is it with that thing? She is talking to me! Do I say something? I pointed to my ears and then to my mask, shaking my head. The woman pulls down her mask. No! Don’t pull down your mask. You see multiple people daily, I don’t want that exposure. Oh boy. The lady talks to me. “Have you had a ct-scan before”. I nodded my head ‘yes’. She talks more. What is she saying? Wait, she said DYE. Yes. I have to get the dye in my IV. She continues talking about the process. I want to know more about it. I can’t understand her! 

She takes me out of the room into the ct-scan room. I laid down. Again, that ‘submissive’ feeling that I felt in the radiology department was happening again. I felt even more stressed because I didn’t feel like I was connected to this woman. I laid down. How long will this take? When is the dye being injected? She hooks the dye up to my IV. It’s in. How long will it kick in? Am I going to feel weird? I’m nervous. I’m scared. The ct-scan starts. Oh boy, now my claustrophobic fears are kicking in. I can get out of here if I need to. I can slip my head out and sit up. I will be out of the ct-scan. Hurry. -Closes my eyes, visualizing the beach- How much longer? -Closes my eyes again- The woman lifts my IV arm up behind my head. Oh I’m feeling that dye now! It feels so weird! Tingling down my arm. I don’t like this. What the heck. I feel this overwhelming heat sensation in my arms. Now it’s in my mouth?! My head. Is this anxiety? Get me out of here. The machine slides out of the ct-scan as it reads my mind. Is it over? I feel hot. I hate this feeling. I rub my head and down the sides of my face. The woman pulls down her mask, “Are you okay?”. I responded by waving my hand near my face signaling that I feel hot. She gives me a heated blanket. Did she not understand me? Is it the dye or the anxiety? 

5:30 PM I’m back in my room. I’m obsessing over that heat sensation feeling that I had. Was it the dye? Is it my anxiety? Am I having an anxiety attack? I hope someone comes in so I can ask about it. 

5:37 PM A new female employee comes in. My heart monitor flashes. No! Did Carly leave? Did her shift end? She waves at me. I waved back. She called the interpreter. The interpreter comes on the monitor. The female employee asked how the ct-scan go? “Well, it was okay but is it normal to have the warm feeling in my mouth, head and arms?”. She laughed as I could see it in her eyes, and responded “Yes, it’s normal! The dye can give you that weird feeling”. A wave of relief comes across me. She asks if there’s anything I needed or any more questions. I said “no, I’m good”. She said the ct-scan results will be ready in an hour. She left the room. Wait? She only came in to check up on me? She used the interpreter! I might not know her name but she was friendly. She made sure I had that communication. I liked her.

One and half hours passed by, and by that time, I was exhausted from all of the stress. I was somewhat relaxed enough to scroll through on social media and rest by laying down. The entire four hours I had been sitting up waiting. During that time, I mentioned to my husband that now with this experience, knowing that he wasn’t able to come in with me due to COVID-19 that I will be more skeptical to come to the ER again if necessary. I shouldn’t be feeling that amount of fear to come because of the communication barriers. 

The female employee (same one from 3:15 PM and 4:50 PM visits) came in the room and called the interpreter. Told me that everything from today came back mostly normal and that I did NOT have a blood clot. She said she would be back with the discharge papers. Carly comes in instead with the discharge papers. She sat down next to me, called the interpreter again. Wait, what? Am I leaving? Why is she calling the interpreter? I can just read the discharge paperwork. Carly goes over the results again from the whole day’s visit. She tells me to follow up with my primary doctor. She says if I feel not good again, to come back to the ER. She took the time to explain things with me. Asked me if I had any more questions. I shook my head ‘no’. Wow. She’s taking the time to make sure I understand or allow me to ask her questions. She continued talking. She stated that my heart rate for the last 5 hours had been normal with expectations of when certain people walked into the room. I laughed and shrugged my shoulders. Ah, that explains the flashing. Well yes, I was nervous. Stressed actually. She signaled that she understood. She asked me again if I was all set. I said I was good. She left the room. I got my stuff together. I walked out in the hallway. I walked past the front desk to the exit. I waved Carly goodbye and thanked her.  She has no idea how much she helped me today. I wish she knew.

Names have been changed to protect the true identities.