Guest blogger: Dad

I have decided to ask Kelly to be a guest blogger! This is not something that I thought I would ever ask of her. She has been sharing her life with you for sometime now! This time of year she has to decide on keeping  Knot So Loud going or to let it cease. I have always encouraged her to continue this effort! Her original goal was to share her travels and beauty of Connecticut and the New England area. She also shared her experiences of her daily life of being deaf. This has not always been positive for her but is important for her to help people understand what her personal deaf experience has been.

Diane (Kelly’s mom) and I have had so many conversations with those of you who have enjoyed her writings and her pictures (just her Apple phone, wow!). She has a terrific skill to pull you in as if you are standing right there. She has a gift to see things that most walk by. We have had the pleasure to watch her capture the beauty of different locations and write it so descriptively!  Thank you all for the kind words and support you have given. We cannot be more proud of her!

We have also witnessed her ability to live life as a deaf person. She has adjusted to her environment throughout every phase of her life. She was strong through her childhood, teens and as an adult. I could share so many great times we had during her life! But….. the challenges she has faced have never ended. We recently experienced an unfortunate communication gap that frustrated her greatly. It was very innocent but an example of events that can happen at any time. It was heartbreaking as a parent to be there and be unable to protect how she felt. 

Diane and I both worked very hard through her developmental years. We worked in tandem assuming our roles without really talking about it. Diane worked directly with Kelly and I tried to educate myself on what she needed as a deaf person to support her individual growth. Diane tirelessly drove Kelly to early programs and stayed to learn what she needed to do with Kelly. She consistently worked with Kelly on her speech and help her develop her love of reading. I learned that getting the needed support from the school district was going to take a lot of effort. There were new needs to fight for every year! We had to educate the managing educators due to the low occurrences of deaf in our community.

Kelly worked very hard to minimize her inability to hear. I was alway impressed by her ability to read lips. Be careful if you are within her space, she does know what you are saying! Her incredible attention to her surroundings also developed into a keen awareness! She points out things that are very subtle changes that we miss all the time.

RIT/NTID (college) was another time in her life of major adjustments. It really was the first introduction to others like her. We were so excited for her to experience the culture and find herself a direction for her future. Like all college experiences it was up and down. I guess the blessing was how busy she was with school, sorority and meeting her husband! I do believe she now looks back at these times fondly. 

She then moved to Connecticut to be with her husband and start a life. Diane and I hated being far away from her. I guess as a father you want your little girl to always need you. We are very grateful to Apple for developing FaceTime! She acquired a deep love for New England (and someone that grew up there) but this also removed her from any deaf companionship. This continues to be difficult and the hesitancy of hearing people to make personal connections continues in her life.

She recently took us to the movies! I have not been to the movies since 2005 when I saw “Fever Pitch” with my son on a rainy day in Myrtle Beach. We went to see CODA. It was a powerful movie that hit me very hard. This emotional roller coaster was about the hearing girl with deaf parents and a deaf brother. It really did a terrific job to allow you to experience the different characters’ thoughts and feelings. I cannot lie, I cried a little! Ok maybe a lot! So many thoughts went through my head as to Kelly’s life!

Kelly is going to share her point of view of this movie in the next blog! I will share my perspective too. Our hope is to give a better understanding from both sides!