Meet Mr. Kelly — knot so loud

In a recent blog, I talked about the challenges of being deaf and dating. I left off stating that a Part II would be coming. Does that mean I have someone in my life?!

(In the Michelle Tanner voice) You got it dude.

I met my first serious boyfriend at RIT. I was in Political Science class with him. He waved to me at a hockey game then friend requested me on Facebook. Two days later, I saw him walking in front of the on-campus store so I jokingly honked my horn at him thinking he wouldn’t recognize me since it was night time, only to go home 20 minutes later to a Facebook message from him, “Was that you that honked at me tonight??” That conversation turned into a 3 hour long conversation. He asked me out to a coffee date after class the following day. THE WORST FIRST DATE EVER! He didn’t know any ASL. He didn’t understand a word that I said. I couldn’t lip read him at all. It was very awkward. There were a lot of “huh?” “what?” before I took out my phone. He responded back by doing the same. I remember sitting there thinking can this end already?

That night after our awful first date, we had another 3 hour long conversation online. We kept having many long conversations online. I started to really like this guy so much from our conversations but it bothered me that he didn’t know ASL. I was really hoping he’d be willing to learn. He asked me to be boyfriend/girlfriend so I decided to give it a chance. The first couple weeks, we did need to communicate on our phones in person. We were once approached at Panera Bread by an elderly man who asked us what game we were playing on our phones!

Two weeks later, he had to travel out of country for a school trip. Before he left, he took me to the bookstore to help find some ASL books. I picked out this basic beginner ASL book. Upon his return, he had LEARNED the entire book. I was so impressed! Another two weeks later, I brought him home to meet the family. He bragged proudly to my parents how he was learning ASL and showed off some signs. He observed my family signing to learn more (even my dad’s homemade signs!) I was worried that his interest in ASL would eventually tamper off but it never did.

It turned into a 10 year long relationship.

So this is “Mr. Kelly”.

We dated for the rest of the year until he graduated from RIT. He moved back to his home state of Connecticut. Now you all know the reason I am in New England! I had one more year of college so we had a long distance relationship. That was the toughest time EVER! I fell in love for the first time within 3 months of dating him. I missed him terribly. I visited him during all of my breaks. After my graduation, I lived in Connecticut for the summer. It was one of the best summers. I went back to Rochester because I had a job with Probation. I worked there until the New Year so I didn’t move back to Connecticut until January 2012.

Unfortunately 2012 wasn’t a great year. Living in Connecticut was extremely challenging. I had to adjust to living in a new state, away from the only home I ever knew in Upstate NY, far away from my family. I wasn’t happy with my employment after an amazing job with Probation. I struggled a lot to make a permanent life in CT. I felt alone without my family and friends. A deaf community was non existent in my area. I was unhappy. This affected our relationship. After some soul searching, I realized I wanted him in my life.

Despite the tough first year in CT, it made us stronger and our relationship grew. We fell in love even more. He is an amazing guy who set the bar really high! My family adored him. We started going on adventures around New England which helped me to truly appreciate life with him. We bought a home together in late 2013 then adopted our Dalmatian. I finally knew he was the one.

In 2014 he proposed to me on Christmas Eve in Corning, NY (outside of my hometown). It was such a memorable moment! We just celebrated our 5 year RIT anniversary the month before, I thought that the proposal would happen then (as did everyone else!). My dad sent us to Corning to pick up some “glasses”, which was a ploy for my then-boyfriend to have the moment to propose to me in the Center Square by the beautiful Christmas tree. He signed the whole proposal speech! Getting to announce the engagement to my family made that Christmas Eve very special.

We got married 9 months later on Seneca Lake (one of the Finger Lakes) in Upstate NY. It down poured on our wedding day but we still had the most amazing day! Our Dalmatian was in the wedding party. We celebrated with our closest family and friends. We had an officiant that was fluent in American Sign Language (she also was my professor at RIT!) so she was able to verbally talk/sign at same time during our ceremony! During the dating years, he signed the song “Just The Way You Are” by Bruno Mars while we were shopping at the mall so we used that for our first song to dance to as a married couple. I also surprised him at the wedding with signing a song I sang “The Story” that Sara Ramirez sang on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy! We both each have a song for each other.

Now you don’t have to wonder who my Instagram husband is!

*Our first summer of living in Connecticut.*

*Engagement photo session in Mystic, Connecticut.*