My years as a Deaf first responder

Happy EMS (Emergency Medical Services) Week!

It is a week that occurs annually in mid May. Honoring EMS for all that they do. It is a bittersweet time for me, as I reflect on my experiences with the volunteer ambulance organization. I have learned a lot from these years! 

Some background first, while I was in Rochester, NY I was on the track of joining the fire department after meeting a deaf firefighter. I knew I always had a passion for the emergency field. I went on a few ride alongs with the fire department, which I learned a lot especially about the tools that the deaf firefighter used. Unfortunately I didn’t live in the town of that fire department so I had to go to the neighboring fire department. I met another deaf firefighter there which again, I went on a couple ride alongs. I was about to join officially when a new bylaw was passed that any member of the fire department would have to pass a hearing test with the radio communications. At the same time, my passion for the criminal justice system was increasing as I was majoring in the classes. I spent a lot time with lawyers at the court houses so I decided to pursue this path. 

When I moved to Connecticut, it was impossible for me to stay in the criminal justice field. This is when I decided to re-visit the fire department idea. I met a female volunteer who gave me a tour and explained how the fire department also housed the ambulance organization. She was a dual member of both, so she was helpful in sharing all the information. I decided to try the ambulance organization. I officially joined in 2014, after being voted in. I remember I was nervous about other members having some hesitancy about having a deaf responder. At the time, I felt welcomed. 

My pup visited me one night while I was on duty.

I requested to be a driver, which I was told that I had to be certified in CPR and EMR (emergency medical responder) first. I also thought it would be worthwhile to see all aspects on the ride alongs first to solidify that I wanted to be a driver. In the beginning, it was challenging to find a crew for me to ride with. 

Once a crew was found for me to ride with, I followed someone who was a dual driver/EMT. I acted as an assistant, carrying equipments and doing whatever they asked me. I spent most of time observing and learning. After a couple years of doing the ride alongs, I felt ready to start the process of being a driver but I was still not EMR certified. 

I asked a few times about the training/classes but I wasn’t told when they would be offered. I continued to ride on the ride alongs, but I started to stay with the driver only. I would ride up front with the driver. When the EMTs brought patients in the ED, I would restock/clean the rig with the driver. I was quickly getting burnt out with doing scut work when I wanted to advance in my driver training. 

On some of the medical calls, it was ALS (advanced life support) so a paramedic traveling in a medical truck (owned/employed by the hospital) would meet us at the scene. The paramedic would ride in the back of the rig. Sometimes a firefighter will drive the truck to the firehouse, the ambulance will bring the paramedic back to the truck after the transport. If there happened to be an extra crew member on the ambulance, they could drive the truck following the ambulance to the hospital. One call, the paramedic asked me to drive. It was a big moment for me! I felt responsible, trustworthy, and really good! 

Ambulance rig and medical truck (the one that I drove several times) parked at the hospital.

The same paramedic quickly took me under his wings on the calls. I started riding in the back to the rig if he was there. He showed me how to start up the heart monitor machine, get the supplies together and ready for him to use, etc. I felt motivated again! We had a long conversation off duty one day about my goals, as well my frustration about being certified. He stepped up, continued to show me how to do things to my abilities and allowed me to try more things. One of most rewarding experiences the paramedic allowed me to try was administrating narcan. It was a couple weeks after getting trained in narcan, that we had a drug overdose call. The paramedic was already on scene and gave the patient the first round of narcan. I had just told the paramedic the previous week that I got the training and he remembered. He felt that the patient needed another round, so he told me to ‘come over here and do it’. I was terrified! It was amazing feeling that I actually did something physically life saving. 

I met another paramedic from the same hospital through a mass causality training exercise. The exercise had multiple departments participation. I wasn’t able to do a lot with the lack of certifications. I followed around a few people, feeling helpless and frustrated. I knew that I had the abilities to do some tasks. The paramedic never met me before this day, so when I was placed in the back of the rig with her, she didn’t realize that I was deaf. It didn’t stop her from telling me to get the patients’ information (there was 4 ‘fake’ patients with us). I froze because I’ve never did that basic step! This was 3 years in of being a volunteer with the ambulance organization. I was embarrassed but it turned into a training session for me to learn how to do this step. The ‘fake patients’ were very willing to help out, writing via paper and pen (of course I know this would be unrealistic in real emergent situations) but the point was these 5 people took the time to focus on me to learn something that day. I felt very accomplished.

A selfie after completing a call.

This is when I felt like I wasn’t being advocated well enough to try more tasks on the ride alongs enough that both paramedics saw that. I realized how much I was being held back from furthering. On the other hand, I was voted the scheduling officer within first year of being a volunteer. I was responsible for assembling shifts, finding coverages, maintaining updated rosters and assemble coverage for special events. The members were very accommodating with me in my position as the scheduling officer by texting or emailing me. As the time went on, it was getting difficult to do one task which was assigning new incoming members to their mentors. I watched them move up the ranks much faster than me. I felt like other mentors devoted their time to educate them. It wasn’t fair to me. I felt stuck and that I wasn’t going anywhere. I felt that they only saw my skills limited to administrative duties. I really wanted to further my training to get certified and actual help people out in the field. 

After being a volunteer for 3 years, the local newspaper contacted the director of the ambulance organization wanting to do an article on me. I was thrilled that they thought I was newsworthy and saw this as a great opportunity to show everyone that DEAF CAN! I also felt conflicted, because I couldn’t brag about all the tasks that I knew I was capable of that I wasn’t doing. When the article was published, I received so many praise from family, friends, coworkers and the community. I was proud but also frustrated. 

The professional photo from the article.

The article gained so much attention from outside of the region, including other deaf responders. I got in touch with a few from New York, New Jersey, Illinois, Ohio, Maine, Massachusetts and more. Two deaf firefighters from Connecticut had contacted me too, after talking to them about our limitations, I realized that I was really limited! 

It motivated me to start asking questions about why I wasn’t close to my goal of being a driver. I was finally given a reason… ‘insurance liability’. I got in touch with a disability lawyer who had a deaf husband working as an EMT in Washington D.C. so she was very aware about disability laws. She was very helpful in guiding me with what next steps to take. I contacted the insurance agency that the town had a contract with, which he refused to share the information but forwarded my inquiry to the town mayor. 

The town mayor invited me in for a meeting. When I joined the ambulance, it was another mayor at the time but the assistant was same person who had been there for the original meeting (that I wasn’t aware of) to determine whether I would be allowed to drive. The mayor explained that he was summarized about this by his assistant and stated that ‘insurance liability’ never was an issue. AND that I was allowed to drive as long there was reasonable accommodation. I was baffled. Wait, what?! My mouth literally dropped to the floor. I came to the meeting with my sleeves rolled up prepared for a fight only to feel that I wasted my time. I left the meeting in disbelief, beyond frustrated, embarrassed and defeated.

I had to really analyze if this was something worthwhile to fight for. Did I have passion for this? I went to the monthly executive board meeting (as the scheduling officer), the training officer who had been at the meeting with the mayor had already taken the steps to research tools for the reasonable accommodations. I had felt sad for that week so when I saw what he had done, I felt supported. He saw my abilities and wanted to help. This is exactly what I had needed.

I finished cleaning the rig and was waiting for my crew.

I went on a few more ride alongs and resigned from the scheduling officer position. I started to find out more and more. When I first joined, there had been an executive board meeting to decide about my request to be a driver. Why wasn’t I present to advocate myself? How would anyone know what resources were available? I’ve lived my entire life deaf, so I knew better than anyone. I also got the impression that the organization might’ve been concerned about the financial aspect of supporting me. Eventually, I took a leave of absence to see if my heart was still in it. After 3 months, I officially resigned. 

It is very likely that I was the first deaf person for the majority to meet. I hope they learned that I was capable of doing anything. I hope in the future, they can be open minded, allow others to grow and support them in their goals. If you are in a position to support someone like me to accomplish their goals, be that person! You want to be remembered as someone who helped, not someone who didn’t help. Nothing more rewarding than that.

Resigning was the most difficult decision because I felt that I failed. I was so hurt. I felt betrayed. The 4 years would’ve been so different if I knew right at the beginning about the reasonable accommodation. I had invested a lot of my time to respond to those calls and attend all the meetings to not get the results I had aimed for. This is not the story I had hope to write about. I wish this was a successful deaf role model story for others to be inspired by, but I know in my heart that I tried. I try to not look at this experiences as a waste of time, because I did gain a lot from the experiences. I met many people in the field who taught me things, learned about myself and met some life long friends. 

I attended the CT EMS Expo annually, one year I met the crew of Nightwatch TV show (based in New Orleans, LA).